The Break-Up Fast: Loss as a Tool for Transformation

February 1, 2011

“Fast and your light will break forth like morning…[and your] healing shall spring forth speedily.” – Isaiah 58: 6-11 (paraphrased)

Have you noticed that when unexpected  loss shows at up at  your door, you tend to overeat? This is true for a lot of us. The concept of vegging out on comfort food is worn like a badge of honor nowadays, when processed food is plentiful and sugar addiction is the norm. In the past I was among the loyal cadre of folks that used food as the drug of choice to remedy my woes. Ever since I embraced balance and changed my diet and eating habits, the opposite seems to be the case. Loss, which used to throw me into stuff my gut til’ it aches mode, now causes me to lose my appetite and retreat into fasting mode.

I recently got dumped. Like drop my heart in the bottom of your shoe dumped. In the midst of my processing the situation and mending my broken heart, my appetite seemed to naturally vanish. In order to prevent from starving myself,  I decided to go ahead and officially fast, so that at least my body would be nourished. While wallowing in my own experience I thought it would be interesting to research the effects of fasting on loss or any sort of depression. I found that fasting has been for ages used since Biblical times to bring the body, mind, and spirit back into balance while processing loss.

I love the Bible quote from Isaiah, the idea that fasting will “break your light forth like new morning.” The operative words for me are “light” and “new.” Yes indeed fasting not only purges the body, it renews the spirit and in fact can bring the mind into an altered state of consciousness. Opening up the inner light that gets dimmed from wrong thinking, wrong eating, or just the chaos that is this modern world. Those who fast know that in the midst of a fast there can be moments of intense bliss and interconnectedness with life around us in ways that heal our unseen wounds physical and emotional. Combined with solitude, fasting brings us face to face with the chaos that we have surrounded ourselves with and can break the addictions we have whether it be drugs, alcohol, dysfunctional relationships, or even food. All of these addictions are born from that feeling of lack; a sort of unconscious spiritual deprivation that we all look to fill with people and things. There have been documented case after case of people using fasting to quit smoking, drinking, or to heal terminal diseases naturally.

Uncannily enough, just as I began the fast, my phone would not charge. I discovered that I needed to replace the battery. The loss of communication, really put me into a different place than before. In the past, I fasted in tandem with the daily texting, facebooking, and emailing via phone. With that gone, I felt a certain sense of quiet and freedom simultaneously. It forced me to look at how much of my life is spent in my present moment, rather than consumed in cyberspace.  All of this prompted me to venture on a retreat into the wilderness. My father’s church happens to own a spiritual solitude retreat called Spiritual Wilderness Solitude in Harmony Haven, Virginia, and funnily enough although I have visited, I never myself undertook the process of staying there alone for an extended period of time. It was day one of the fast, that I received the inner guidance, that I had to go, sometime soon.

Now I am a fan of solitude, I do actually spend a lot of time by myself, and am not one of those people who feels uncomfortable going to the movies alone or spending time in meditation. But this idea of being in the middle of nature no phone reception, no lighted highways, and far enough from civilization that silence was really SILENCE, on purpose, is a new concept. I’m almost afraid to venture into that space, and what I may discover about myself. But I will do it…very soon, and I will let you all know how it goes.

Visionaries such as Christ and Buddha used fasting and solitude to obtain mystical revelations. The act of fasting to me feels like the deepest form of prayer…its a sensation that seems to align the spirit immediately to receiving healing, opens the universal gateway for  help in the time of need and solutions to any kind of problem. So the next time you loose a loved one, are mending a broken heart, fall sick with any kind of disease or drug addiction, or maybe just need answers, consider fasting perhaps accompanied with some meditation and  solitude as a remedy. What began as a break up may be the catalyst for a deeper connection with life and spirit than you can fathom. – XoXo Raw Girl

For more on fasting, check out my article Juice Fasting: The Ultimate Tool for Anti-Aging and Spiritual Awakening:


And also…this previous post which offers Tips for a Stress-Free Fast:




  1. Truly an amazing read. Thank you for giving such hope to overcoming such devastation.

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